Give to Ceaser..............

November 2nd....this year seemed to have flown by then came to a screeching halt, my perception has at least. These last couple of months into the new year will slowly pass on by, but pass on by they will. Funny how the tides of fortune change in such a short period of time....foolish is the one who thinks that this moment is the state of things to be....good or bad, these things pass.... doesn't God shine the sun upon the righteous and the wicked and rain on them both as well? No one is exempt from the present condition, we all play a part....if the sun shines, it shines on us all.....if it rains, it rains on us all.....we have decisions to make, together as a whole......

A season for everything............birth pains

Sitting, contemplating the changing, the transition from one "now" to the next "now".....I can't help but wonder about the tides that washed me up to this present shore. It seems like there's a time for "waiting" at hand, for me leastways.

This season requires me to slow down and "be"....to spend time with myself, and delve within'. Asking myself the important things and answering with honesty and compassion. Submerging myself into this abyss, what will emerge?....

...."slowing down" does not mean "stopping"....the work does not end, we continue forward with courage, an inquisitive mind, and a compassionate heart.

Man.........(pipe dreams)

The condition of, the exasperated response to something frustrating....what is it about us that needs a thing to be justified or explained so that we may approve of a thing?

Why can't one (me) just let something be.....why isn't it's "isness" enough? I say (me) because I, being a part of this glorious species, am also prone to it's greatness, as well as it's shortcomings. If I began to process this with an "us" and "them" attitude....well, then I'm doing the same thing now aren't I? I guess, what is a bother to me s me....when I fell judgment, or some sense of superiority through a veil of pity....I guess the fact that I get MY buttons pushed, that I find that I'm just as suseptable to base emotions no matter how "advanced" I may think I am....I guess I'm supposed to see what is visible to me and me alone, just as I can't ask anyone else to see what is invisible to them.....

....I think it'd be nice if the "others" understood that as well.

Lifers...........

Sitting, grokking the details of this finite existence within the infinite vastness of being, I sit and watch my water brother in her element, her dextrous, alien-hybrid hands nimbly moving about in nervous, yet controlled scribblings. These times we have together are few and fleeting, Tis good to sit with her and visit, to be and underestand one another.....to come together out of the scism we may be flying through and touching base, telling eachother the tales we've been living apart from one another though we live under the same roof.

Timeless friendships are a goodness.....it is something I cherish, truely a gift.

Roadwork ahead............

There's a sign, saying what lies around the bend. "Roadwork ahead"....yes, do I need a sign to tell me that? Theres always work ahead....the great work, mastering ourselves.....lifelong. Many lives. Thinking on myself, on my state, my thoughts, my reality.....there is a great work up ahead, a great work indeed.

Stripes of a different color.......

Walking around, looking at people, encapsulated and closed to the outside, myself included. The older I get, the more I feel like an alien of some sort, not a part of this. Aware of some "otherness" that I've been seperated from.

There is a lack of understanding with my fellows that at first disturbed and distracted me.....but I feel that the one person who matters to me most does understand me, and that is all that matters....The light that love shines on things and gives them understanding inspires hope within me.

I have love, I am not alone.

There is such a thing as trying too hard......

I think one can want a thing so bad, or more to the point, one can be so fearful of losing a thing that the forcing of keeping the thing, can do just the opposite. instead of a natural flow, the one is rigid and pained in the effort. Too much focus on loss or failure can make that which we fear manifest. Like riding a motorcycle, don't fixate on what you want to avoid lest you hit the very thing. Instead, lock onto where you want to go....knowing exactly what one wants is paramount.

The times, they are a-changin.......

Funny how the progression, the semblance of the passing of time has accelerated for me this last year.
I feel that the sense of acceleration has been heightened from my neglecting of my inner-self, my inner-life. I've not commited to meditation as of late, nor have I been commiting my thoughts to paper.
These times, as hard and as difficult they may seem, they are but a small display of the hardship that looms forward. Those times will make my meditation, my commiting myself, to know and grow myself all the more important.
These changing times, both within and without, in this, my universe, I am the constant. What does this continuity look like?

Yes, the times they are a-changin'......

Peace.

Lightning is a bitch......

So there it is. A simple statement, true and pure. If lightning strikes. and you are the unwitting recipient of natures wicked french kiss you are screwed. No other way around that....to live through such a rare occurence, like surviving an attack from a great white. Though suffering severe trauma to body and mind, talk about a life changer.
The change of perspective....thats the silver lining....that new vision of incalculable worth. It's worth the anguish....maybe I should ask that...Is it?
Maybe we all need a donkey punch as a people, one to bring us together and bring us to our senses. To bring us to this moment acknowledging exactly what we're doing and why.
Seeing things for what they really are, maybe then, something will change.

You'd better think long and hard......

I awoke from a dream this morning, these are the words: "When it comes to cannibalism, you'd better think long and hard."....."No matter how small the clutch, tubular traction will always guide the eggs to the middle of the basket."

Cannibalism, yeah whatever, but Tubular traction? What the hell is that? I guess theres another LAW of the universe.

Dream....

A new day, seems like there's some wicked thought in my head, just out of reach.

My dream: Twas dusk, I was out in the country, rolling hills, and access roads. There was a storm approaching, thunder clouds overhead...the sunset was dramatic, the layers of orange, and red, angry and intense with the textured clouds adding a depth, enclosing the colors, transmuting the without to within. An inferno floating above the rural landscape. The sun is setting, the glow was going...I scrambled to gain a better vantage point, running I climb, camera in hand. On a rise, I lift the camera to my eye.......gone....the light has passed, the rolling clouds, dark and titanical, gone is the warmth, the moment passed forever.

Fall out......

I came across this sign walking around Oakland today.....It got me thinking about things, life, circumstances,....it got me thinking that it's good to know where to go when it REALLY hits the fan, you know, "when it all goes down"....but, what about inside of ourselves?
Where do we seek shelter when the maelstrom is within? Does one know?

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to my new blog! As no one is aware of my creating this, I will be writing to myself for the time being....it'll be like thinking my thoughts only they'll be recorded here for your perusal. I'm no english major and I'm sure you'll find plenty of misspellings and bAd grammer....I'm ok with that.

And now, We will name him Jerry.